I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
