last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
