party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
nutella sex= disaster
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
