I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
