Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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