Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
