something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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