He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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