I queefed so loud it echoed.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
