i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
