just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize