Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize