Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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