Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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