arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
