she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
