smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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