There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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