it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
