Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
