Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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