Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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