How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
