maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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