You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
ugly people sure do ruin things
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
