im holly from the hills drunk
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize