you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
