Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
