I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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