New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
