guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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