We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
