My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
