is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
a search helicopter?!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
