U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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