we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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