I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
