garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
