I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize