So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
