end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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