Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
