My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
