Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize