Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
