I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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