You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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