It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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