That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
