He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
