last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize