i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
