I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
