i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
