he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
