Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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