careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
