I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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