Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
