As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
