Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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