You smell like stripper and shame
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
