I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
