TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
