TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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