if only i could text you this smell
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
