do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
