And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
