finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
