so that wasnt chicken after all
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
