Non-Jews are for practice
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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