I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
